Rooted in love.
Growing in faith.

From the Pastor

A Pastoral Note

My daughter recently started tap lessons. Last Thursday, I picked her up from practice for the first time. It was my first time seeing her tap, and only the second time I had visited the church where she takes lessons.

I first visited the church many years ago, in the midst of a difficult period of life. The building wasn’t finished. I wandered into the sanctuary still under construction and stood in the middle of its primary artery aisle. There were no pews, only an elevated platform with a podium, and I stared at the podium for what seemed like ages, basking in the presence of God even as I asked for the strength to get through the pain of the moment.

As I stood there, a man approached, presumably to ask me to leave. When he asked what I was doing, I don’t remember my exact answer. I do remember the tears streaming down my face as I told him I knew I was in the right place: this was where I was supposed to be. He smiled, offered a word of comfort, and quietly left.

Thinking about that moment years ago, it struck me: I never wanted to be a pastor. I’m still a bit reticent about it. I enjoy preaching, and I shine in the classroom as a professor, but pastoring has always looked to me like a daunting challenge. And, this reticence has been compounded over the past several years where I have felt a tremendous amount of pressure to do anything but pastor a church. And, I have considered lots of other professional options, given the antagonistic pressure. But, in every instance, God has drawn me back to the church. In spite of everything, God still beckons, still calls me to pastor. And, what was a whisper to do this work so many years ago, is now a Divine shout.

I should also say I never wanted to go to seminary. I wanted a PhD in religion so I could teach. God had other plans, though. I felt led to seminary, and it was life-changing, easily among the most formative experiences of my life.

Standing in the church this week, again, I was reminded of my purpose. I knew in a moment, just as I did all those years ago, that this was where I should be. Pastoring, among other work, is my calling.

The thing is, I’m not ordained.

I went to seminary and began the ordination path in the Presbyterian Church, USA but I didn’t complete it. So, I have the academic credentials and the practical for church work, but not the ecclesiastical endorsement that ordination brings. In most traditions, you can preach, but you can’t pastor without it.

For a long time, I was at peace with this process. Because I lacked ecclesiastical endorsement, I used the title Executive Director/Founder at Natural Church Ministries. And, I did so from a place of respect for the journey of ordination and for the many great pastors I know who worked diligently to secure it.

But, God has called me to pastor. And, to do so in an unconventional method. There is no place on the planet where I feel more aligned with my purpose, not even in the classroom, which I also love.

I am a pastor. I was born a pastor, and I think it’s time I live into it.

I feel led to build Natural Church Ministries into a brick-and-mortar congregation alongside our existing digital ministry, and to serve as its pastor. The vision is an independent, non-denominational ministry rooted in an unconventional approach to life and faith, deeply grounded in the radical love of God. And I think it would be great to get the endorsement of other church folks, but I don’t know I have to have it before I do the work.

There was this other guy in the Bible who freaked out the apostles/disciples of Jesus during his day preaching largely to gentiles (the folks he wasn’t supposed to preach to, with a message he wasn’t supposed to preach) and pastored with loose, very loose ecclesiastical endorsement. He was a bit of a rebel pastor and this guy did some pretty heavy lifting in scripture. So, I wager I’m in pretty good company.

Sincerely,
Paul Clay-Rooks
the Rebel Pastor

Rooted in love. Growing in faith.